I didn’t believe in omens, or rather I didn’t believe I’d ever see one. My practice is so small-scale and personal, why would I need the “cosmic clue by four” as it’s called? My Lady is usually both very direct and very gentle in getting my attention, and in my head, omens were neither of these things.
Then came the move from my apartment back to my childhood home. I was relinquishing a great deal of independence (and space), and I wondered how Saraswati Maa felt about it. I was worried, frankly. Would she be ashamed of me? Angry? Should I apologize, since most of Our things had to be packed away?
The last day I went to the city to clean and pack, my mother took me to a fast-food restaurant I used to love. Wouldn’t you know it? Outside there were two geese, with their little pack of fluffy, adorable goslings.
OK. That was about as gentle and direct an omen as I could ask for. ❤
My Lady set me to working on Tarot to develop my discernment and signal clarity, and somewhere along the way, I stopped caring about whether my practices conformed with Buddhism, because I realized that my beliefs are in line with the Buddhadharma.
This afternoon I asked My Lady what she thought of my progress. I pulled three cards. All three were tens. I think that’s a clear answer!
I was struggling to find the words for what’s happening to me, but Saraswati found them first: I am in spiritual quarantine. I’m no longer allowed to work with deities other than her, and other deities are no longer allowed to approach me. My signal clarity lately has been so bad that…well…this is necessary.
You read that correctly. Gods are people too.
They might not be human, and in some schema, they are not mortal. But they are people, and treating them as if they weren’t is frankly not just a matter of disrespect (or impiety, as some would have it). It’s a matter of expecting that fish to climb a tree.
The gods make mistakes. They have feelings. They get hurt. They hurt each other. They hurt us. They are people, only on a much grander scale. They may be vast, ancient entities (many of them, anyway) but they are still people. They have favorite foods, best friends, and they don’t understand everything that happens to them.
They are people.
So, why worship them?
Well, you don’t have to. If you feel a particular deity or deities have done nothing for you and will do nothing for you (and you’re fine with that) by all means, don’t honor them. Don’t let anyone tell you that you have to worship a god you don’t want a relationship with. BECAUSE THAT IS CREEPY.
Likewise, don’t believe anyone who tells you that you can have a relationship with any god you want. THAT IS ALSO CREEPY. Not every god will want to be your patron, or want a relationship with you, and that’s fine. It’s not a failure on your part if Deity X turns you down. (Take it from someone who knows)
Remember that the gods are people, and like people, they are all different. Some of them are douchebags. Many others are also douchebags but are good at hiding it.* Then there are the gods who filled with compassion and benevolence, and who would never hurt anyone or anything, no matter what. There are people like that too, you know. Perhaps in this case, we should say that humans can be like gods?
My Lady is quite often beyond my comprehension, but really, so are most things. In fact, if we’re going to be honest, I don’t think the human mind can actually comprehend the fullness of anything, whether its the nature of the gods or the behavior of cats and dogs.
The human mind doesn’t know what truth is. It only makes distinctions, and those fail us so often, because my green is your blue and your yellow is my red. Your hot is cold to me, and that delicious food I made for you tastes foul.
I stand next to My Lady, and my mind sees nothing, hears nothing, and therefore tells me that she isn’t there at all, because the human mind doesn’t know what truth is. The heart does, though. So I shall speak from my heart, because it knows what truth is.
This morning one of my friends died, and I feel like I’m somehow responsible because a few months ago I had a premonition of her death. Plenty of books out there will tell you how to develop psychic powers, but it seems like very few of them tell you what the consequences of those powers can be. Do you want to see the future? No, you don’t. You really, really don’t.