So…I first caught My Lady’s eye when I was about 10.
I found her picture in a book and thought the idea of a goddess of learning who blessed books was SO FUCKING COOL. But I was a devout Catholic and (at that time) happy with my religion. As such, I didn’t even believe Saraswati could be *real* No wonder she waited. 😉 I wasn’t in a state of mind to handle a relationship with her.
I broke with Catholicism when I was about 18. G-D’s silence finally was too much for me (but that is another story.) For a few years I tried very hard to be an atheist, except I believed in…something. I just didn’t know what it was, until I discovered that polytheism was A Thing and People Do That Thing.
At first, I reached out to the kami, since I was well acquainted with Japanese history and lore. Ame no Uzume was the main one. She was incredibly patient, but very polite. I wanted to honor Amaterasu-Omikami, but something always seemed to push me away…
Then there was Benzaiten-sama. It started as a working relationship, really. I offered her pretty things in exchange for luck and success in my schoolwork. She always obliged, so I prayed to her more and more. Along the way, I discovered that she was the beautiful and wise Saraswati.
I don’t remember what happened to help me make the jump from treating her like a vending machine to an actual devotional relationship, but at some point I must have realized that there was another mind present when I was speaking to her. That’s when I decided to craft a special figure to represent her.
When I presented it to her, I felt her fingers tickle down my spine. She was very, very pleased. After that, you could say I fell down the rabbit hole. My life has never been the same.
I don’t count my relationship with Saraswati as beginning when I saw her picture in that book. It started when I made a choice to ask her into my life instead of continuing to chase after People that didn’t want me, just like My Lady respected my choice.