A Little About Me

So…I first caught My Lady’s eye when I was about 10.

I found her picture in a book and thought the idea of a goddess of learning who blessed books was SO FUCKING COOL. But I was a devout Catholic and (at that time) happy with my religion. As such, I didn’t even believe Saraswati could be *real* No wonder she waited. 😉 I wasn’t in a state of mind to handle a relationship with her.

I broke with Catholicism when I was about 18. G-D’s silence finally was too much for me (but that is another story.) For a few years I tried very hard to be an atheist, except I believed in…something. I just didn’t know what it was, until I discovered that polytheism was A Thing and People Do That Thing.

At first, I reached out to the kami, since I was well acquainted with Japanese history and lore. Ame no Uzume was the main one. She was incredibly patient, but very polite. I wanted to honor Amaterasu-Omikami, but something always seemed to push me away…

Then there was Benzaiten-sama. It started as a working relationship, really. I offered her pretty things in exchange for luck and success in my schoolwork. She always obliged, so I prayed to her more and more. Along the way, I discovered that she was the beautiful and wise Saraswati.

I don’t remember what happened to help me make the jump from treating her like a vending machine to an actual devotional relationship, but at some point I must have realized that there was another mind present when I was speaking to her. That’s when I decided to craft a special figure to represent her.

When I presented it to her, I felt her fingers tickle down my spine. She was very, very pleased. After that, you could say I fell down the rabbit hole. My life has never been the same.

I don’t count my relationship with Saraswati as beginning when I saw her picture in that book. It started when I made a choice to ask her into my life instead of continuing to chase after People that didn’t want me, just like My Lady respected my choice.

One thought on “A Little About Me

  1. Wow. Excellent work sir. Although I still think the one God is the ultimate arbiter, I have also been slowly finding Benzaiten. A while ago, while playing the guitar, I felt I was playing it for her. Even though at the time I had no real interest in polytheism. I make music and need a muse. She’s beautiful.

    I think Alan Watts said it best. Something the the effect of – You finally get it when you stop taking it so seriously.

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