The Turtle Shell

My usual response to stress is to withdraw, and others have noted this about me. I shield myself very effectively. Too effectively actually. I call it the “turtle shell.” Nothing can get through it, not even Saraswati. I block myself off from all intimacy and interaction. It’s not healthy, and it leaves me feeling suffocated.

It’s 2016, and I turned 29 a little less than 2 weeks ago. This has me feeling anxious, as I’m living in my parents house at the moment, still don’t have a job or a source of income, and I’ve withdrawn from grad school. Though I’m in the process of applying to another program (one that will suit me much better), I must confess I feel so much despair about the whole thing.

Right now, I’m shut up in my turtle shell, and the only way out is… I don’t know. Stick my head out, perhaps?

2 thoughts on “The Turtle Shell

  1. I respond to stress the exact same way. Durga and my spirit guides have been giving me signs that I need to do heart chakra exercises, like focusing on opening up my heart to them so that they can help me. However, it’s really really hard.

    Not really advice I know, but you’re not alone!

  2. I am turning 29 this year, too. As someone else who has left a grad program (and had everyone think I was crazy for it), I just wanted to say good on you for having the courage to take a risk when you knew the path you were on wasn’t yours.

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