Reconciliation

Standing Saraswati
Saraswati Maa

It was My Lady Saraswati who drew me to Buddhism, and that’s when the problems started. I resisted Buddhism, then resented Saraswati, and finally regretted my vows to both. Yet I couldn’t give up on either, and have repeated a tired back and forth between the two for months.

After all of it, I was left with a broken heart and an empty head. My Lady withdrew and took the Dharma with her, and I cried out for both of them to return. When she did, I realized that Lady Saraswati is my Dharma, and that to be Buddhist I must honor her as I would honor the Buddha.

2 thoughts on “Reconciliation

  1. I went through something very, very, very similar recently with Durga, and only did a formal puja a couple days ago to apologize for almost walking away and losing faith. I went through similar emotions. Eventually I realized that through all my anger, doubt and general pain, I hadn’t stopped loving Durga and would likely never be able to – she is my dharma, as Lady Saraswati is yours.

    I also adore and agree with your egregore posts but don’t have the “spoons” to write much. Your posts are always great.

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