When Saraswati is mad, she lets you know. You feel her eyes on you. She makes you go cold. She is the mighty torrent, the raging, rushing flood that breaks the backs of mountains. For those she loves, she restrains herself, and merely scares the shit out of you.

When Lakshmi is mad on the other hand, she doesn’t tell you. She doesn’t say a single word. She simply goes from being Lakshmi to being Alakshmi, and slips out the door. Then, the house goes cold. Your luck dries up. The bills go unpaid. Somehow your life just isn’t so happy, and you can’t figure out why, because Alakshmi is an awful lot like Lakshmi, just in reverse.

Alakshmi is always unhappy. She’s never satisfied, no matter how many pretty things you buy her, or how many rich fruits and flowers you offer her. What you need to do is get right with Lakshmi, because Alakshmi is not Lakshmi. Stop making offerings to her!

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