I am a mystic in the sense that I have a very intimate connection with the divine. In particular, I am connected to the Pan-Asian Hindu and Buddhist goddess Sarasvati, though to me She very often comes across as the incredibly Japanese Benzaiten-sama. You see, the divine I connect to is not an impersonal entity, but one with a very definite personality. She likes yogurts and rich, fresh milk from pastured cows….and She loves strawberry ice cream. She is protective and loving, but a bit possessive. I am Hers and Hers alone.
When I came to the conclusion that the best way to define myself was as a “mystic,” I then wondered what the next step was. Writing about it seemed the obvious answer. Herself is a goddess of eloquence, and She orders my words in ways that others will understand. You see, I have no problem with inspiration. In fact, I have rather too much inspiration at times. My mind overflows with ideas, but I struggle to communicate them properly. From a metaphysical standpoint (and forgive the woo), my third eye chakra is incredibly active, while my throat chakra is…pitiful. It’s part of the Asperger’s, I suspect.
Sarasvati is a constant presence in my life now, in a way that I could only have dreamed in my days as a Christian, when I prayed to G-D and received no answer. She is always simply…there. The best way I can describe it is that she is immanent in my person. It is, needless to say, a very personal connection. Yet I’m not ashamed to talk about it to those who will understand. My problem is – who would really want to listen?
You see, when I say “I’ve got a goddess living inside me,” it sounds like I’m saying that makes me terribly important. And well…that’s not it. Sarasvati’s not confined to just being inside me. I know that, and I don’t want anyone to think for a moment that I’m some kind of authority on Her. If you want to know the facts about my goddess, check out a book from the library. Or better yet, ask a Hindu priest, or a Tibetan monk, or the priest at a Shrine of Benzaiten-sama. All I can tell you is what I know. And that’s actually just a small part of the picture.