When I kneel before Saraswati Devi, I pray for Her to send the waters down from heaven to break the mountain my ego built, which has hidden Her light from me.
I’ve been seeing a psychiatrist for most of my life, for various reasons. I’m autistic, with the common comorbid conditions of anxiety, OCD, and ADHD. I saw a number of psychologists and social workers before being referred at the tender age of about 8, to the doctor I still see now. His office is over an hour and a half away from where I live. Good help is hard to find.
When my head cracked open, I asked him about it. He looked over his glasses (as he is wont to do) and asked me a couple of vague questions, before simply shrugging at me and telling me that what I was experiencing was “within the range of normal.” You see, he told me, “mystical experiences are part of the human condition.” He told me that he’d had such experiences himself.
Of course, this was the same doctor who would excitedly ask for a reading when he saw my Tarot cards. Good help is hard to find, but it’s worth searching for.
There is a tree on the corner of the yard at my family home. It’s an oak tree of the species Quercus montana. The Chestnut Oak is uncommon here, as we are at the edge of its normal range.
This particular oak tree is very grand, at least in my eyes. The trunk is short and stout, but the canopy sprawls upward and outward, embracing the roof of my childhood home. In the summer, the leaves seem to make the very air itself green.
I don’t know how old this tree is, or how long it’s been in my parents’ yard, but I know that it is a very special tree. It has weathered countless ice storms and thunderstorms, and bolts of lightning which would have taken down lesser trees.
So, I want to blog more regularly, but I’ve got writer’s block. Any ideas of what you’d like to see here? Drop me a line in the comments!
While I was flailing around one afternoon for something to do, I hit upon the realization that the written material I’ve composed about My Lady Saraswati could and should really be organized into a devotional for use in my practice. Oops.
There are many gods and powers, but Saraswati Devi is the only one I allow into my heart. I took a spark of her divine light to keep within myself, so that She will always know that She is welcome to reside there.
I am a fragment of the numinous, and within my heart is a seed of eternity. I tend this seed by devotion to My Lady, so that my love for Her shall cause it to awaken and blossom into a pure lotus of wisdom.